Boys & sex : young men on hookups, love, porn, consent, and navigating the new masculinity / Peggy Orenstein.

By:

Orenstein, Peggy

Material type: Text

TextPublisher: New York : Harper, an Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, [2020]Edition: First editionDescription: viii, 292 pages ; 24 cmISBN:

9780062666970 :
0062666975

Other title:

Boys and sex

Subject(s):

DDC classification:

305.235/10973 23

Summary: "Peggy Orenstein's Girls & Sex broke ground, shattered taboos, and galvanized conversations about young women's right to pleasure and agency in sexual encounters. It also had an unintended effect on its author: Orenstein realized that talking about girls is only half the conversation. To understand girls and sex, we also need to talk about boys and sex. Today's young men are subject to the same cultural forces as their female peers. They are steeped in the distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity which shape how they, too, navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In Boys & Sex, Orenstein uses the same fascinating mix of anecdote and research to reveal how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy. Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Orenstein takes an unprecedented look at the myriad factors that are shaping boys' ideas of sex, girls, and masculinity including: locker room talk how the word "hilarious" robs boys of empathy pornography as the new sex education hookup culture and consent Bro culture and #metoo excessive drinking and frat parties boys' experience as victims and perpetrators of sexual violence By exploring the complexity of young men's attitudes, beliefs, and experiences, Orenstein unravels the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of boys' sex lives today. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men"-- Provided by publisher.

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Holdings
Item type	Current library	Collection	Shelving location	Call number	Status	Date due	Barcode	Item holds
Adult Book	Phillipsburg Free Public Library	Adult Non-Fiction	Adult Non-Fiction	305.23510973 ORE	Available		36748002466185

Total holds: 0

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

Now in paperback--Peggy Orenstein, author of the groundbreaking New York Times bestseller Girls & Sex, turns her focus to the sexual lives of young men. "Eye-opening.... Every few pages, the boy world cracks open a little bit.... Even in the most anxiety-provoking moments of Boys & Sex, it's clear that Orenstein believes in the goodness of boys and the men they can become, and she believes in us, as parents, to raise them" (New York Times Book Review).

Peggy Orenstein's Girls & Sex broke ground, shattered taboos, and launched conversations about young women's right to pleasure and agency in sexual encounters. It also had an unexpected effect on its author: Orenstein realized that talking about girls is only half the conversation. Boys are subject to the same cultural forces as girls--steeped in the same distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity--which equally affect how they navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In Boys & Sex, Peggy Orenstein dives back into the lives of young people to once again give voice to the unspoken, revealing how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy.

Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Boys & Sex dissects so-called locker room talk; how the word "hilarious" robs boys of empathy; pornography as the new sex education; boys' understanding of hookup culture and consent; and their experience as both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence. By surfacing young men's experience in all its complexity, Orenstein is able to unravel the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of young male sexuality in today's world. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men.

Includes bibliographical references (241-279) and index.

"Peggy Orenstein's Girls & Sex broke ground, shattered taboos, and galvanized conversations about young women's right to pleasure and agency in sexual encounters. It also had an unintended effect on its author: Orenstein realized that talking about girls is only half the conversation. To understand girls and sex, we also need to talk about boys and sex. Today's young men are subject to the same cultural forces as their female peers. They are steeped in the distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity which shape how they, too, navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In Boys & Sex, Orenstein uses the same fascinating mix of anecdote and research to reveal how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy. Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Orenstein takes an unprecedented look at the myriad factors that are shaping boys' ideas of sex, girls, and masculinity including: locker room talk how the word "hilarious" robs boys of empathy pornography as the new sex education hookup culture and consent Bro culture and #metoo excessive drinking and frat parties boys' experience as victims and perpetrators of sexual violence By exploring the complexity of young men's attitudes, beliefs, and experiences, Orenstein unravels the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of boys' sex lives today. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men"-- Provided by publisher.

Table of contents provided by Syndetics

Introduction What About the Boys? (p. 1)
Chapter 1 Welcome to Dick School (p. 7)
Chapter 2 If It Exists, There Is Porn of It (p. 39)
Chapter 3 Are You Experienced? Life and Love in a Hookup Culture (p. 73)
Chapter 4 Get Used to It: Gay, Trans, and Queer Guys (p. 105)
Chapter 5 Heads You Lose, Tails I Win: Boys of Color in a White World (p. 135)
Chapter 6 I Know I'm a Good Guy, but ... (p. 165)
Chapter 7 All Guys Want It. Don't They? (p. 183)
Chapter 8 A Better Man (p. 197)
Chapter 9 Deep Breath: Talking to Boys (p. 219)
Acknowledgments (p. 239)
Notes (p. 241)
Bibliography (p. 263)
Index (p. 281)

Reviews provided by Syndetics

Library Journal Review

Having stirred up a dust storm with New York Times best sellers like Girls & Sex, Orenstein looks at the other side of the sexual equation: how boys are shaped by damaging cultural pressures about male dominance and female desirability. With a 100,000-copy first printing.

Publishers Weekly Review

Journalist Orenstein (Girls & Sex) talks with high school-- and college-age boys and men about sex in this candid and fascinating portrait of young American masculinity. Conducting more than 100 interviews with males ages 16--22 throughout America, Orenstein shares a narrative of "toxic masculinity"--exemplified by emotional suppression, casual homophobia, and bragging about sexual conquests--and unveils a "historically unprecedented" availability--and habitual watching--of porn, with boys beginning to watch it as early as sixth grade. The damaging effects of this trend are reflected in misconceptions about women, and also result in boys who are unprepared for real-life relationships. Orenstein's scope is wide, as she delves into the lives of gay and transgender boys and men and interviews young black men at predominantly white schools who stringently follow the rules of "consent," wary of severe punishment for any hint of improper behavior. Among other conclusions, the author demands that parents "get over it" and talk openly with their kids about sex and intimacy. The #MeToo movement, she asserts, is not only a chance for girls to expose sexual misconduct, but also an opportunity to raise boys up to be compassionate, responsible men. Expertly written and sometimes disturbing, but always informative, Orenstein's latest is a valuable reference for parents of teenage boys and young men. (Jan.)

Kirkus Book Review

Candid information on what boys really think and do when it comes to sex.After spending more than two decades examining the lives of girls, Orenstein (Girls Sex, 2016, etc.) realized that "if I truly wanted to help promote safer, more enjoyable, more egalitarian, more humane sexual relationships among young people, I needed to go back into their world and have the other half of the conversation." Boys and parents of boys will thank the author for her work as she shares the complex sexual world she discovered via interviews with more than 100 young men, psychologists, and other experts. She exposes the trashy locker-room talk prevalent in athletic circles and how it is difficult for boys to speak up against such behavior for fear of losing their own place in the male world. She gives graphic, sometimes unsettling descriptions of boys and their consumption of pornography, which many use as their only source of information on what a sexual relationship should entail. Orenstein also shares numerous stories about boys realizing their inappropriate behavior with girls, and she chronicles how, even while they feel shame and regret, they may still avoid self-criticism in order to fit in with their peers. The author is inclusive in her study, portraying the experiences of a wide variety of boys, including people of color and gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals. Orenstein effectively covers the issue of consent and includes stories of men who have been aggressively forced into sex by girls, and she also shows how girls can damage a boy's reputation by sharing specific details of an unsuccessful sexual encounter. Ultimately, the author's research opens up a welcome forum for exploring "a hunger for more guidance about growing up, hooking up, and finding love in a new era."A highly constructive analysis that provides many topics for exploration and discussion by parents and others who interact with boys. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.